We all have fears, as individuals and as collectives. Fear is something that is deeply embedded in the human experience and is, in essence, a biological imperative. The ways in which we’ve evolved to manage fear has arguably shaped our modern world. From our socio-political, economic systems to the ways we design and construct our physical world and to how we engage with each other on a daily basis. Fear is such a multifaceted energy and manifests in a variety of ways in our lives.
So many of us have fears that are rooted in the concern for our safety and perhaps the safety of those we love, whether it be financial or physical. Many of us fear being alone, stemming from our deep desire for connection and communion with others. Some of our fears are more latent, like being exposed as unworthy or unlovable. Most of the time our fears are not conscious at all; they manifest as anxiety and become the lenses through which we see and experience the world.
Upon closer inspection, we might find that, in a weird way, most of our fears stem from love.
We want what’s best for ourselves and those we care for, and fear comes from the idea we might not get what we want or that we’re undeserving. What we all want is to be safe and have the things we need to enjoy life with the people we care about.
We’ve evolved to respond to the world around us in fear out of the desire to protect ourselves. Our minds perceive threats, and we react accordingly. Sometimes the threats our mind perceives are real, but most of the time they are projections. We are so often occupied with the future, and our fears of undesirable things coming to pass that we forget that our fears are mostly figments of our imagination and are not even real.
So much of fear is living in the future. Living in the future is missing out on everything that is right now, and there is only now.
Although being preoccupied with the future seems functional, we only really need to be thinking about the future in the moments taken to make future plans. It would do us good to recognise when we move from the practical need to think about the future into an unconscious, anxiety-driven, dog-chasing-its-tail kind of thinking about the future. Ask yourself if you are in imminent danger. If the answer is no, perhaps your fears are drawing unnecessary energy from you.
We can change the way we engage with fear when we realise that the source of fear is often ourselves and not something external. We may fear something outside of ourselves, but the fear itself is a projection and comes from within. We may not have so much control of the world outside us, but if fear is something that is internal then it is something controllable.
We can start by making our fears conscious—that way they can’t unknowingly affect or rule us and our reactions. We can bring our fears into the light and learn from them.
Maintaining awareness of your fears and triggers can reveal important signs directing you to parts of yourself that need attention, love, compassion and healing. When you make your fears conscious they no longer have the same power over you; you can choose whether or not to react.
Don’t hide from your fears
Ask yourself…
What do I fear?
What are my fears trying to tell me?
In what areas of myself am I wounded and vulnerable?
Consider the wounds that these fears have grown out of…
Are you carrying a fear with you of something that you are no longer in danger of yet still perceive as a threat?
Who are you without fear?
We often become attached to our fears in the false hope that they will keep us safe. We may feel like without the fear, we would be reckless, irresponsible, or avoid the real issue at hand. It doesn’t make sense for us to be happy or at peace in the face of danger or worry. How could we be? But if we consider the fact that fear and worry makes no significant positive impact on the feared situation, if anything it could only make matters worse by possible poor decision making, why are we so attached to our fears then?
Our attachment is an irrational habit of the mind and one that is possible for us to be free from with a little conscious awareness. Fear gets in the way of your ability to enjoy life and your true self. You might be a totally different person without your fears.
Ask yourself…
Am I willing to release the cycles of fear that have kept me from embracing my true self?
If the answer is yes, you can embark on the journey of excavating your fears as they arise in order to better understand what they’re trying to tell you and who you truly are.
Try to maintain awareness of when your fears are triggered and to turn yourself towards them with an open heart. Try to recognise the roots of the fear and have compassion for yourself when you realise that they were merely a self-protection instinct. Notice any knock-on emotions that are triggered, and try not to judge yourself or the feelings. Rather, try to witness the feelings without reaction. This is an ongoing activity that with practice can become a natural and spontaneous way of living. If you can see every time your fears are activated as an opportunity to learn a bit more about yourself, you will be in a good position to do this work. It can be an arduous journey, so be gracious with yourself, because the benefits of doing this work are limitless.
Let’s be scared together
We are all the same; we all experience fear; we’re all mitigating the effects of fear on our lives. Try to be conscious of the fact that most other people are living in an unconscious state of fear, acting and reacting accordingly. People who are happy, calm, and at peace do not feel the need to treat others badly. Those who are suffering and are in pain will have their misery spill out into the world. The worse someone behaves, the more afraid and confused they usually are. Try not to take personally the expressions of other people’s fear made manifest. You don’t have to take their fear and turn it into something that stimulates your own.
You have choice.
There are those who would keep you in fear, who profit from it. The media class, government, and big business know how to activate fear in order to manipulate and consolidate power. They have identified fear as a powerful tool for manipulation. You always have the power of discernment at your disposal. You can choose how to respond to a situation that is in resonance with your true self. You do not have to be afraid when someone or something pressures you to be so. Pay attention to when others try to activate your fear, and remember that you have the choice whether or whether not to agree to it.